Tag Archives: grief

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Tis The Season

 

The holidays are just around the corner and for most they are a time of rejoicing, making memories that will last a lifetime and reconnecting with dear and beloved friends.  But for many this time of rejoicing is a time of pain and sorry.  Not everybody enjoys the holidays and this can be for  any number of reasons.  Most common of those reasons is grief.

 

Grief can develop from any number of events and ranges in severity for all those that share in it.  If you’ve lost a child and it’s your first holiday, those joyful times are not so joyful.  You come face to face with the fact that you are no longer going to be buying presents for that child.  Making the loss of a child one of the most difficult of all losses to bare.  When you lose a child, it’s not just about not celebrating Christmas and buying them gifts and seeing the joy on their little faces (regardless of age), it’s also about the process the loss of all the events that you are no longer going to be able to partake with them.  They won’t be getting married, having children or graduating from school.   These are all part of what comes barreling down on you during the holidays.  It’s a time when you begin to fully recognize the depth of the loss that you have suffered.  If this is you, contact a counselor before the season is completely on you!  Most have had experience with loss and can help you walk through the season.  It doesn’t mean that you have to continue with counseling after the holidays, it just means that you need a little extra support during this time of year.

 

The front ends of two vehicles after an accident

 

It’s far better to talk with someone during this time than to do another destructive behavior and end up with more problems then you know what to do with.  Very often people chose to drown their sorry in alcohol because it seems more dignified and society approves of you drinking than counseling.  When the reality is, if you were to go to a counselor you wouldn’t have all of the problems that come with drinking.  Like addition, accidents or a ruined marriage.   This is especially true during the holidays.  Take time out now and get that firm foundation under you so that when the holidays come, you’re prepared for them and not taken by surprise.  Dr. Schaefer is one counselor that understands what you’ve been through and is more than willing to help you.

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Therapy!

Therapy doesn’t have the stigma that it used to have.  It’s now an accepted alternative if you are having problems and don’t know how to resolve them.  Friends and family are often the first line of help, but often they are the problem and are anything but helpful or able to give valid and viable solutions.   So what then?  If you’re truly not happy where things are at in your life the obvious and best choice is to get counseling.

Dr Maryann B. Schaefer

 

Counselors

Counselors and their techniques are not all the same.  There’s a wide range of methods, just as there are a wide range of experience.  What works best for you may be behavior modification, but then again that may not be. Maybe psychotherapy is more your style and something that will truly make a difference in your life.   Those that are really good at what they do, are exposed to all of the major methods and can use most anything.  After all, not all issues can be handled one way.   So, the first thing you need to do is go and interview the counselors to see what works best for you.  If they charge you for the initial welcome meeting, you should move on.  Why?  Because there’s a strong possibility that they are only in it for the money and not for helping you move forward!

Experience

Experience

Experience is something that there is no replacement for.  Consider if you would how likely you would want to have someone do brain surgery on you, if they’ve never even picked up a scalpel before.  You wouldn’t!  So why should things be any different when looking for someone that would be helping you with your emotional challenging situations?  As important as it is to see if you will be able to confide in someone, it’s just as important to see if you’re going to have someone with experience.  Dr. Schaefer has 20 years of experience!  What 20 years  of experience tells you is simple: there’s nothing that she hasn’t walked people through.  There’s nothing she hasn’t heard and there’s nothing that she can’t handle.  That also means that you can count on her to be there for you tomorrow and even next year.

 

That Hardest Step!

The hardest step in counseling is the first one.  To pick up the phone or email.  Why?  There are many why’s, but arguably the largest is our pride.  We don’t want to admit that we can’t handle things on our own.  That we need help.  That we can’t solve whatever is going on.  And often times this isn’t helped by our friends.  Being told to “pull ourselves up by the bootstraps”, to “be tough” or to “just get over it”, doesn’t help matters.  But if you can’t just ‘get over it’ what do you do?  You seek out someone to help you.  If you were having chest pains, no one would tell you to pull yourself up by the bootstraps, and a good counselor can help you learn how to navigate through the fog and sludge that you’re trying to handle yourself!  Don’t wait, reach out!